So, there I was, relaxing in my Bark-a-lounger after the latest sweet Blazer victory. I decided to engage in a little 'remote viewing' and shoot forward about ten years...
I found myself in this very same spot, albeit this time in a new-fangled, air suspension, self-propelled, atom-powered lounger. The radio (yes, still a viable medium) was playing and the KPTB Sports Roundup was on. This is what I heard:
五次世界冠军波特兰开拓者will be hoping to extend their current 12 game win streak tonight against the upstart Boise Banditos, the newest and youngest franchise in the NBA. The Banditos are hoping to repeat an earlier feat when they stopped the Blazers' eight game win streak early in December, 48-44. The Boise full-time zone press has given the league fits since it's introduction by coach Bruce Bowen last year. The Blazers are expected to counter with their trademark "prevent' defense which has limited opponents to an average 5.5 points in the paint... ...Young point gaurd phenom Derek Deckard has announced through his agent David Deckard that he will forego signing a letter-of-intent to Duke or UCLA at this time. The two college powerhouses have been recruiting the younger Deckard since his amazing performance in an exhibition game last July at the NBA Summer League."I just want to enjoy fifth grade a little longer" said the slightly shy lad. "Besides, I'm just getting to know that cute, new girl in the second row..." ...In a related story, David Deckard tells KPTB he is being wooed by Trailblazer management concerning the expected vacancy in the Sports Information Director post. Deckard has also been approached by KPTB regarding an opening alongside play-by-play icon Brian Wheeler with the KPTB radio broadcast team. Deckard, as you may recall, earlier declined a plea from the Jeb Bush administration to help broker a peace deal between Israel and Islamistan... ...Former Trailblazer Clifford Robinson replied, "Let's wait and see...I feel like I can still compete" when asked if he would retire after this season... Citing a need to "blaze new trails",Portland general manager Kevin Pritchard has been negotiating with Boise Banditos owner Kobe Bryant. Pritchard, who master-minded the Trailblazer dynasty, sees a new challenge in the young, talented Bandito franchise. His contract with the Blazers expires this year... ...The Portland Trailblazers organization will honor Blazeredge at halftime of the next home game. Blazeredge was one of the pioneer "blogs" in the days of computers. Pushed aside by advancements in telepathic and bio-kryonic communication, computer interaction has become virtually obsolete. However, the early contributions of blogs such as Blazeredge will forever be recognized as stepping stones to the inter-planetary popularity professional basketball now enjoys.
As I re-established contact with the present, the pain of the last three years seemed to fade a bit. If my 'viewing' was accurate, we're in for some good times, folks! And...remember the old adage, "The more things change, the more they stay the same".
Merry Christmas everybody! PS I can hardly wait for that nifty lounger!
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