Jay Caspian KangandBill Simmons writeonGrantland.comthat a "renegade hoops league" needs to start up because of the ongoing NBA lockout. The writers debate how a draft would work, deciding to appoint an "Oracle Committe" to run things. Kang then suggests that Portland Trail Blazers guard Brandon Roy should be invited to the NBA Draft solely for the purpose of not getting selected. This leads to an exchange about how the city of Portland would react. ------------------------------- KANG: Couldn't we just have 65 players at the draft, so that one of them gets left out? And if we did, I'm going with Brandon Roy. The entire city of Portland would call for a boycott of The Oracle. Three games into the season, Portland would return to combing its beard and crashing its fixed-gear bike into "_____ly responsible" latte stands/record stores. A collective sense of relief (and self-satisfaction) would wash over the city's residents, who finally realize that they don't really like basketball. They just really, really like regionalism and pronouncing "O-reh-GONE," and yelling at other people about how "great" Portland is, when it's really just— SIMMONS: Tread carefully, Kang. I felt the wrath of the Portland soccer moms once. It's like swimming in a pool and suddenly being attacked by piranha. You don't even know what's happening, just that you're surrounded by your own blood and flesh. ------------------------------- Rage, rage against the dying of the light in the comments.Hat tip:@TheMikeDonovan-- Ben Golliver | benjamin.golliver@gmail.com |Twitter